Posts Tagged ‘Hugh Jackman’

Review in a Hurry: Take a handful of popular Marvel Comics characters, cast them with solid actors (be it Hugh Jackman as Wolvie, Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool or Taylor Kitsch as the card-throwing Gambit) and you can’t go wrong, right? Well, you can if you make them spout dreadful dialogue, your effects look cheap and you hire a director who’s totally wrong for the material.

The Bigger Picture: A big part of Wolverine’s appeal as a character was his mystery, but hey, Marvel finally decided (ill-advisedly) to spill the details of his origin in comic books. So Hollywood has followed, equally ill-advisedly.

Little is revealed about Jackman’s metal-clawed mutant that we didn’t already gather from the other three X movies, and what is revealed often comes off as downright silly. (He got his name from a stupid faux Indian story his girlfriend made up? Really?)

The movie, which is mostly set sometime in the ’70s, starts intriguingly, with a plot that looks like it’ll be similar to Watchmen: Someone is picking off former members of a secret military team of mutants, and Wolverine, who quit when the team’s methods went too far, must figure out who…and get revenge when somebody close falls victim.

This involves signing up for metal skeleton injections courtesy the villainous Col. Stryker (Danny Huston), who apparently also invented the Bush doctrine of preemptive war on possible terrorists.

The original team includes the likes of Fred Dukes (Kevin Durand), an immovable object who will eventually be known as The Blob; super sharpshooter Agent Zero (Daniel Henney); wisecracking sword master Wade “Deadpool” Wilson, who can cut flying bullets in half; teleporter Wraith (a surprisingly good will.i.am); and of course Wolvie and Sabretooth (Liev Schreiber), the latter of whom turned evil during the Vietnam War for no particularly good reason.

Internet fanboys have been demonizing Fox’s Tom Rothman, but the real reason that what ensues is so poorly executed is most likely director Gavin Hood. The obnoxious sentimentalizing and clichéd execution (characters stare up to the sky and cry out in grief-stricken anger more than once!) were also evident in his inexplicably overrated Oscar winner Tsotsi.

Also, screenwriter Skip Woods wrote the videogame-based bomb Hitman. What did you expect from these two?

The cast gives it their all, but they’re wasted in what is essentially an infomercial for potential future spinoffs. And the special effects don’t even look finished—are we sure it wasn’t the leaked workprint that was screened for press?

The 180—a Second Opinion: Audience members who can truly turn off their brains and just be entertained may be satisfied by the colorful characters having a few cool fight scenes. But remember when the X-Men films actually stimulated our brains instead of deadening them?

• Hugh Jackman says he’s not gay in Sunday’s Parade. But he’s definitely a Friend of Mickey.

• So Susan Boyle wasn’t telling the truth about having never been kissed once in her 48 years. It was “a joke…I’ve got a wicked sense of humor,” she said. This is even more shocking than when she plucked her eyebrows. We’ll never be able to trust reality TV again!

• On Ellen, Lindsay said she doesn’t believe in cheating because she says her dad cheated on her mom. When will she learn? Never bring him up—it just makes this happen.

• How about an Octomom update? When she was a stripper, she went by the name Angelina like that actor lady with all the kids she’s never heard of, and she wants a pig.

• Hilary Duff sez “Enough scarf jokes, guys. I like this, OK?”

• Whoa. Did everyone see Miley Cyrus at the London premiere of Hannah Montana: The Movie? Probably the most awesome we’ve ever seen her look.

Oh look there’s Miley again looking cute and signing autographs in the Big Pic. There’s no such thing as too much Miley. Fact.